FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR LIFE

I am, by nature, a monogamous guy. If I have chosen to walk in life with someone, he is the only one for me. Now, that said, this is easy for me because I don't have eyes for anyone else when I'm in love, however, this isn't how most people think about it. I have friends, who are open with their relationships and they say it works for them, however when I'm around them a lot, I see these little unspoken resentments that haven't been addressed, yet the couple picks each other apart.  I would rather not live that way.

When my last relationship ended years ago, I decided all of the love songs, which would break my heart anew every time I thought of them; I would begin to sing as if singing them to myself, sometimes to the little boy in me, sometimes to the romantic, sometimes to the man, but always to myself. 

This allowed me to see how much I had become dependent on a love which hadn't had the potential to be, what I had convinced myself, it was. I had seen in it, what I wanted, needed to see. Once I had attached a tremendous percentage of my Romantic Love Myth to it, I had to make it work out. The burden I placed on the relationship, thinking the ballast was a positive, when in fact, it was exactly what it was, Sand Bags.  

We were on the same road but towns apart. I'm a romantic, a dreamer, an optimist; I am consistently struggling with the ideal I believe is possible and the reality of what others are honestly capable of living. I haven't been in a relationship in nearly 10 years, so I'm not sure how I'd even react to the interest toward me, but I will say, for me, the answer to the question Al Green sang about decades ago, "How do you mend a broken heart?" is definitely to LOVE BIGGER! 

Our tendency is to want to shut down when our heart is broken and I understand at first, we must go within to begin the healing process, but not get stuck there. To the depth I've felt sorrow is now to the height I can feel joy. When we expand, our consciousness expands in every direction. We expand our capacity to feel. 

So I figured, when I'm ready, I'll walk out into life filled with the joy of my gratitude for everything Ive experienced, blessing all who helped me get there, even if it wasn't intended for me. I am a better man, a grander lover, a more expansive being.

Let yourself be in love with your life. Talk yourself into it, if you have to, as your life will become whatever you focus on. Do your best to not complain, or tell of your "mistreatment" over and over;  Focus on cultivating a great respect for yourself, love for yourself will blossom as a result; To Live Happy!  What's more attractive than that?

©2015 RMAPhotography
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

QUIT GIVING SO MUCH TIME TO WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING

In someone who has a need to control, feelings of inadequacy produce rage, which is extreme anger toward one's self for lacking the ability to control the people and circumstances in one's life. It is the most extreme expression of low self-esteem for it implies there is an external, physical-world circumstance that cannot be overcome, which is simply not true. It indicates a belief that one's value is attached to the accumulation of things and control over one's physical experience, which is impossible and would not produce real self-worth even if one managed to achieve it.

We, as humans, perceive from our center, outward. This design causes us to lead with the assumption that everything happening in our lives is about us, when in fact, most of us are so focused on our own thoughts, on looking for evidence of what we want to believe, that largely our assumptions are ghost trails leading nowhere. Our minds create scenarios from which we select details to affirm that of which we are already convinced. We have veered off of a rational path, acting out of fear and delusional certainty that our erroneous thinking is correct, so at this point, our perception has fueled our actions, setting in motion a string of circumstances we will come to regret.

Often we think if we can control this person or that situation, we'll be able to keep everything in order. If not, not. When what is not controllable, reacts true to form, we tighten our grip in the belief that what is needed is more control. More control is definitely not the answer; its about relinquishing control. You see, no one ever does anything because of us or really even for us. It is all about one's relationship with one's self, projected outward.

When we understand we are responsible for how we feel, for how we respond to what happens and for how we embrace the circumstances of our lives, we will begin to spend time cultivating a more disciplined mind. If our mind is undisciplined, we tend to react to what is happening from an emotionally knee-jerk response because we are attached or invested in an outcome we feel we must control. No one can make us feel, be or do anything that is not already vibrationally activated within us to do or feel or be. To know that our value is not determined by another's opinion, nor by another's attention, nor by another's approval or presence, is to begin to comprehend our worth, respecting ourselves and cultivating self-love.

 © 2015 
Robert 
Madden 
Abstract 
Photography 

 ALL 
RIGHTS 
RESERVED