I AM WORTH IT

My intention always is to expand. In my conscious mind, I earnestly believe I make choices to do this in my daily life, yet I have of late, felt I was standing still.  Stuck.  How?  What is stopping me?  Why am I afraid to listen deeply? 

Expansion is inevitable.  We are all doing it, in fact, everything in the Universe is expanding constantly. We, as vibrational beings, are doing it too, whether we are doing it willingly or we fight it, we are going.  It is a Universal Law which is not personal or selective, but rather, purely and perfectly impartial.

If we open ourselves to it willingly, releasing attachment to temporary things, and all things are temporary, we adapt and have an enriching experience.  If not, we live in doubt, becoming more and more convinced in our conscious minds that this experience we're having is who we are and the conditions of our lives, define us.  We begin to believe we are this body we inhabit and try to prop up it's importance with material things, becoming ever more attached to the illusion.  

The more we become enmeshed with the illusion as reality, we get more depressed, more confused, more frustrated, because we have fallen out of alignment with who and what we really are.  We begin to look at the "evidence" in our lives to confirm that which we are not wanting to be true, but which we are expecting to be true.  

When I don't feel I'm worth it, "it" being time, attention, kindness, gratitude, love, compassion, understanding, respect, I won't allow anyone near me who would counter this opinion of myself.  We don't recognize this as it's happening, however, having some distance has given me quite the clear perspective.  

In my inner dialog, I heard myself saying to an inanimate object I was trying to get to work, why won't you cooperate?  It stopped me immediately.  I knew instantly the question was meant for me, so I began to look deeper.  I sat in meditation to get a better view, as I feel I can sometimes see around corners in meditation.  Answers come to me in the act of sitting in silence, mainly because I am showing myself, I believe I am worth it and I am willing to face whatever is holding me back, no matter how painful. 

Now, I recognize I am honestly willing to hear the truth.  Finally, energy begins to flow through me again.  The pain of the loss and disappointments I have experienced no longer have the power to determine the quality of my life.  Choosing to live in awareness guarantees the revelation of honest, naked truth, allowing me to once again, feel safe in my vulnerability.

 

 

 

 

 

 

©2015 RMAPhotography 

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR STORY

The term, friend, is thrown around loosely these days.  I feel the definition in the minds of people is being diluted. Some claim friendship, when the facts barely support an acquaintance. Of course there are levels of friendship, each being uniquely reflective of what is being processed within us at any given time in life.

However, a friend, to me, is a sacred thing, especially the ones who have ridden the tumultuous waves of life with me.  As the storm clears, he or she is standing right there with me, solid, steady, present; a constant in my life.  It doesn't matter whether we speak on a regular basis or see each other daily, if we get together for brief intervals with long periods between, or if we spend a time in each other's lives for a period, never to have that kind of intimacy again.  Each one lives on in me, contributing continuously, to who I am.

I am blessed in some way, by each of them.  None are superior, nor any inferior, for each one is it's own reality, it's own set of priorities, desires, expressions, based on the vibration which initially drew us together.

Since a thought never leaves its source, whatever we bond over will be at the heart of our relationship always.  It may take different forms of expression, but the dynamic is set by our matching vibrations at the time we first met.

This is one of those ideals on which I grew up. I believe having a true friend is a gift of grace and being one is an honor.  Not until I was older, did I realize, other people don't care about it in the way I do.  In most instances, the idea of this ideal, is not only of no value, but doesn't even warrant a thoughtful courtesy.

I would find myself feeling routinely, let down or devalued, until I realized no one was doing that to me.  I was doing it to myself.  In assuming someone's actions were a statement on my lovability, on the value of my character or the quality of my personality, I was giving all of my personal power away, signing over my autonomy to another person's emotional reaction, who, by the way, never gave it another thought.

This code of honor was fine, as long as it brought joy or lead to the uplifting of my consciousness.  It no longer did.  My attachment to it meant I needed others to be the same way or I would judge them.  Judgement is the way of withdrawing one's love from a situation or person, to force a change in behavior or influence an outcome.  More attachment breeds more attachment.  It can't be otherwise. Any effort made in manipulation of a situation or person is attachment and I wanted to go in the opposite direction.

I find it interesting how we assume to know, with absolute certainty, what someone else thinks of us, then we behave in a manner which affirms the assumption, whether the other person believes it or even knows it's what we think.  In this way, we create our experience. We live lives of reaction and response, surrendering our autonomy and creating from a default, rather than being at cause, creating deliberately our life experience.

When telling your story, it's easier to tell a positive uplifting story than to recount everything wrong with your journey.  It's easier because it will attract all of the things, people and circumstances matching it vibrationally. We attract more of what we give our attention to, so if you're constantly complaining about what is, you are holding yourself in the situation you are complaining about and the resources to lift you out, will come more slowly to your aid.

Take charge of your life story.  Begin to write it from your true self, from your center, being completely, brazenly honest about who you are and what you want from your life.  It's yours!  It can be whatever you choose it to be.

 

©2015 RMAPhotography 

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED