My intention always is to expand. In my conscious mind, I earnestly believe I make choices to do this in my daily life, yet I have of late, felt I was standing still. Stuck. How? What is stopping me? Why am I afraid to listen deeply?
Expansion is inevitable. We are all doing it, in fact, everything in the Universe is expanding constantly. We, as vibrational beings, are doing it too, whether we are doing it willingly or we fight it, we are going. It is a Universal Law which is not personal or selective, but rather, purely and perfectly impartial.
If we open ourselves to it willingly, releasing attachment to temporary things, and all things are temporary, we adapt and have an enriching experience. If not, we live in doubt, becoming more and more convinced in our conscious minds that this experience we're having is who we are and the conditions of our lives, define us. We begin to believe we are this body we inhabit and try to prop up it's importance with material things, becoming ever more attached to the illusion.
The more we become enmeshed with the illusion as reality, we get more depressed, more confused, more frustrated, because we have fallen out of alignment with who and what we really are. We begin to look at the "evidence" in our lives to confirm that which we are not wanting to be true, but which we are expecting to be true.
When I don't feel I'm worth it, "it" being time, attention, kindness, gratitude, love, compassion, understanding, respect, I won't allow anyone near me who would counter this opinion of myself. We don't recognize this as it's happening, however, having some distance has given me quite the clear perspective.
In my inner dialog, I heard myself saying to an inanimate object I was trying to get to work, why won't you cooperate? It stopped me immediately. I knew instantly the question was meant for me, so I began to look deeper. I sat in meditation to get a better view, as I feel I can sometimes see around corners in meditation. Answers come to me in the act of sitting in silence, mainly because I am showing myself, I believe I am worth it and I am willing to face whatever is holding me back, no matter how painful.
Now, I recognize I am honestly willing to hear the truth. Finally, energy begins to flow through me again. The pain of the loss and disappointments I have experienced no longer have the power to determine the quality of my life. Choosing to live in awareness guarantees the revelation of honest, naked truth, allowing me to once again, feel safe in my vulnerability.
©2015 RMAPhotography
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