Accepting where we are is the only way forward. We must accept ourselves, the choices we've made, the lives we've had which has delivered us to this point in time. No one is perfect or has lived without mistakes being made.
When we cannot accept where we've gone or what we've done to get us here, we begin holding others to unreasonable standards; Standards we ourselves, cannot meet. Our desire to punish, as well as the punishment, becomes harsh, more extreme, because we are trying to purge our own feelings of anger toward ourselves. We make it about what others are doing, but it never is about them, it's about our responsibility for the choices we've made, especially when those choices were not aligned with who we want to be. We know we are better than some of the choices we've made, but we identify ourselves by them internally, always being afraid we will be found out as a fraud; For holding someone else accountable for something and exacting punishment on them for it, when you do or have done the same thing, is being a fraudulent person.
Truth is, I'm not my body. I'm not my mistakes, or my illness, or my physical condition. I'm not my past, or my material wealth, or the lack of it. I'm not a hero, nor am I a villain.
I am a living, breathing, spiritual being making my way through a human experience where I have tried, to the best of my ability, to be a fair, honest, trusting, loving, forgiving person. I have made choices along my path with limited insight, a lack of knowledge or experience to make a different choice. How that looks to another person is not my responsibility, nor is the pain I endured, the responsibility of another.
I have trusted untrustworthy people. I have loved unlovable people in a subconscious effort to better understand trust and love, that I may recognize it more readily in myself, improving these fundamental qualities in my relationship with myself, as everything else stems from there.
Heartbreak is inevitable in this world. No one avoids it in some form or another. I've sat dumbfounded, with my heart in pieces in my hands, alone, wondering what I did wrong, not loving myself more than I loved an idea of another person, who in reality, wasn't at all the ideal I projected onto him. It wasn't his fault. It was my mistake believing something I imagined, could come from something that never was.
Embracing our personal responsibility for the condition of our lives is the key to reclaiming our Free Will. Understanding this frees us and unlocks a future of unlimited possibilities, for if we are honest with ourselves, we begin to approach the creation of our life, not through judgment and limitations, but through our strengths, brought into our awareness by our missteps.
©2015 RMAPhotography
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